Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Las Penas con Pan Son Menos

I have been feeling about as close to normal as can be expected and I have returned to work. It was nice to have some of my coworkers notice that I have already lost a little weight. I'm not certain how much as I have never owned a scale. I did order one last week so that I can start keeping track of my progress. The trouble with feeling "normal" is that my brain wants to go back to normal eating. I wake up thinking of wonderful breakfasts, smokey bacon and perfect eggs or my mother's chorizo and potato tacos on fresh, hot and fluffy tortillas. It is important to remember that in spite of this life alerting surgery that gives you physical limitations on what you can eat the emotional desires that were there preoperatively still exist in your brain.

For instance, my finance's brother died suddenly last night. Unfortunately this marks the 2nd sibling she's lost in less than 30 days. Naturally she was upset and I got a little anxious and we had a little pesto and a fresh loaf of French bread in the house and I ate emotionally. It wasn't long before I had a painful knot in my chest that eventually came up and out. I have to learn to avoid emotional eating especially this early in the game. I've been very fortunate thus far this has been my first and hopefully last incident and not other ill side effects. I did get news that my scale arrived this afternoon so a weigh in is in order.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Walking Hungry and the Sweet Siren Song of Food

The last two days I have been encouraged to do a lot of walking.  It has helped with the operative gas.  Yesterday I treked to the mall to pick up a couple of IDC whey liquid protein shots.  It's 42 grams of protein in a 3.8 ounce shot.  It seemed like the perfect solution to my protein vs volume issue.  I picked up a couple at my local GNC to try at $3.99 a shot.  I found them at invigorate360.com for half the price, but because everything is certain to be different with my digestion post-surgery I wanted to be sure they would work for me.  I brought them home and put them in the fridge and I had my first one this morning.  It was very sweet and the fruit punch flavor was pleasant, but there was a definite whey after taste that was not.  This is my first time trying any kind of protein suppliment so I'm sure it's an acquired taste.

I drank the entire container at in about 3 swallows and I didn't respond to it well.  This was a lot more protein and calories, 180 per container, but no sugar, no fat, no lactose and no caffeine, than I've had in a while.  I became nauseous and I got the chills that typically precede a stomach sickness.  I expected I might throw up, but I kept it down with regular sips of orange Crystal Light.  I'm thinking I might try the 2nd shot diluted by half with Crystal Light to see if it goes down a little better. 

I accepted an invitation to walk a local flea market for a little more exercise in hopes of being a little more capable next week.  I did well with the walking. We were there for about four hours parusing the wares and around every corner there was some wonderful and tasty temptation calling to me, freshly made popcorn, smoked brisket, gorditas, smoked turkey legs, yes, the hunger has returned. In spite of my thinking that I could get one and just chew very, very well and get it down I sipped on my organic sugar free lemonade I packed from home.  Victoria got a Magic Bullet blender for Christmas from her dear sister and it really is magic.  You can put in an entire lemon, peel and all and get just juice out of it.  Dilute with some bottled water and add a little artificial sweetener and you have a perfect lemonage.  Coming home was tough.  Victoria prepared for herself a beautiful dinner and all I could do was sit there with the sights, sounds and smells of that meal and having to think that I have some beautiful cherry jello waiting for me and if that's not enough there is a night fruit punch protein shot just begging to get opened.  Being that I'm only on my 7th day out from surgery I'm sure eating anything other than these damned liquids is ill advised.  The truely disappointing thing is that for all of my work pre-op I am bigger now that I was the day before my surgery, mostly due to swelling and gas I hope, but it would be nice to see at least a little progress.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Recovery Preparation and Planning

This is my fourth day out from surgery and I have noticed this morning that the feeling of fullness has disipated somewhat and I am able to get liquids down with greater ease.  I was able to reach an intake of 60 ounces yesterday and I fully expect to hit my 64 ounce goal today.  The pain has deminished and I am able to move a little easier as well.  I'm looking forward to taking a good walk outside today with my dog, Fancy Mae.

In preparing for my surgery I wish I had looked into a few things earlier.  I would have liked a tour of the facility where my surgery was performed and to have seen the unit of rooms where I would stay post-operatively.  Comfort is key after surgery, be certain the chairs in the room are comfortable, the bed is comfortable and above all that the bathroom is adequate.  My only complaint about my hospital room is that a handheld shower head would have made my first post-op shower so much easier.

If you have any modesty issues they will go out the window during and after your surgery.  The nurses see these things all of the time, but if you aren't used to being naked in front of strangers, it's a bit of an unnerving experience.  During this experience I'm sure I had to have exposed myself to at least a half dozen nursing and a male aide.  While it wasn't pleasant, it was all a part of the job for them and I appreciate the assistance they afforded me in a dignified way.

My abdomen looks like I was brutally attacked by an angry group of knife wielding bandits.  I have six incisions.  The largest is on my right near my liver and it's the one that I feel the most.  The other five have grown relatively painless.  I also have three small punctures.   I'm sure the doctor could explain them, but my best guess is that they were inflation points where they connected the helium tanks to make me into a big flesh colored Hindenberg.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Recovery

My first days in the hospital were painful, but relatively easy.  All I had to do was stay comfortable from my bed to a chair and occasionally walk the halls to get the operative gas to move around a bit.  They put some variable pressure boots on me my first night in bed which left me with very sore calves and this made getting around a little more difficult. 

I came home yesterday evening and my ever optimistic mother thought that I'd be up and around in no time.  My Victoria made me a wide assortment of Crystal Light flavors and a home made chicken broth to keep me hydrated.  A blend of protein powder and high protein, no fat, low sugar milk provided me with protein.  Chewable vitamins and calcium made up for any other missing essentials. 

The fullness is ever present.  I have no hunger at all, but I know I must keep drinking to stay hydrated and healthy.  I'm quite puffy, but in good spirits.  The compression wrap helps a bit with the pain and the liquid Vicodin is a god send.  I have no regrets, but anyone who thinks this is an "easy" way to lose weight really has no idea of what this process involves.

I am hoping that as the soreness subsides I'll be able to get around a bit more.  I know exercise is the key to a healthy recovery.

The Beginning



One of my favorite lines from the old Disney Alice in Wonderland film is from the Mad Hatter who in trying to help put Alice's story in order tells her to, "Start at the beginning and when you come to end stop" and that is what I intend to do with this story.  I suppose my journey to bariatric surgery began in my putting on the weight to begin with.  My weight issues stem from a multitude of sources, genetics being only one.  I've been told my weight could have come from the soy infant formula of the early 70's I drank and that  it could be due to my sleep apnea which began when I was 12, but from about the age of 7 I was a heavy kid.  I was also not the most active child, my favorite toy was an encyclopedia and while my younger brother learned to weld his own bike modifications and built forts with the other neighborhood kids I stayed in and learned the difference between the atrial and ventricle parts of the heart or learned to draw Mickey Mouse well. 

As an adult I never had active jobs, always desk jobs in a cool, comfy offices that tended to pay better than the mall jobs many of my peers had.  When I went to college I was at about 270 pounds and at 5' 6" that was very heavy.  In my sophomore year I took what was essentially a PE class that had me running and doing aerobics three times a week.  I was also working over night so I didn't eat much and I quickly dropped 80 pounds.  The day I saw a 1 as the first digit of my 191 weight was exhilarating.  It didn't last.  The exercise didn't go beyond the class and the weight quickly came back on.  The problem was that I was paid well, didn't have many expenses and I loved food.  I could afford to explore the great culinary treasures of my fair city and beyond.  This was the early to mid 90's and gas was cheap.  If I wanted good seafood I could drive two hours to the coast for the day.  For good Mexican food I could drive 2 hours into Mexico.  San Antonio is a military city and many people from all over the world choose to settle here for our temperate climate so we have cuisines from all corners of the globe within our borders and I became an expert.  If you wanted good Philippino, Chinese, Japanese, French, Mexican, Vietnamese, Thai, German, Polish, English, Italian, Turkish, Greek, Cuban or South American food, I could recommend a place I tried at least once.  I had my favorites, naturally, but I was always looking to discover new hidden treasures and the more I looked, the more I found.  I could tell you where to go for any kind of date, where to get the best sea food and the best steak because I had tried it all and I did so as a benefit of my desk job where I didn't move enough to work off even a salad much less the rich foods I ate all too regularly. 

By 1999 I was just over 300 pounds.  In 2005 I went through a very traumatic divorce and I sustained myself on things that comforted me, Chinese food and ice cream.  I ingested more carbs, fat and sugar in those two years that likely any other two non-competitive eaters in history.  The people at Dairy Queen, Long John Silvers and Beijing Express knew me personally.  I could tell you the total of my order to the penny as I drove up.  In 2007 I met a glorious woman from Phoenix.  What brought us together?  FOOD!  She made a mole from scratch like I had never had before.  I was determined from the minute I knew she was a true old fashioned gourmet that she would marry me.  When I finally got her to Texas she expressed her love for me with amazing culinary creations, many things she would just make up as she went.  We lived the Food Network's Chopped Challenge almost nightly.  She'd pull out four seemingly random ingredients and she'd make a feast.  She enjoyed eating out only to discover how to make new things.  My favorite $11 a pound chicken salad she replicated after one taste.  Pork tenderloin, beef tender loin, excellent Mexican food, stir fries, English pasties she did it all and it was delicious.  Then came reality.

In May of 2010 was having trouble with my vision and a few other symptoms and I saw Victoria's endocrinologist and my blood sugar, in spite of my having been "good" for the day was nearly 300.  I was put on medication and I didn't like the feeling of having my sugar go up and down.  I did my best to cut out fat, sugar and carbs and I lost about 15 pounds in the process, but as I got my sugar under control I went back to my old ways.  at my heaviest I was 360 pounds and at 5'6" with a 58 inch waist.  I was only 8 inches taller that I was wide.  I was a living weeble-wobble.  My endocrinologist said there was only one way to correct my blood sugar issues and that was by losing a lot of weight.

I started looking into bariatric surgery with my mother in 2007.  I sat with her at Innova hospital and listed to the spiel with wide eyed amazement.  Could this all be true?  Mom was heavy, but in relatively good health, no blood pressure issues, no diabetes and she successfully went through surgery in October of 2007 with Dr. Nilesh Patel at Texas Bariatric.  Insurance issues and job changes kept me from having it at that time and I didn't consider it again until 2010 when I was diagnosed with diabetes.

I went back to Dr. Patel primarily because of my mother's success.  She had zero post operative issues and she has been very happy with the weight she's lost.  The office still had my file and they were happy to see me back.  The case manager, Jenni, took a special interest in my case.  United Health Care declined to cover my surgery as there was an exclusion in my company's policy specific to bariatric surgery.  I pretty much gave up at the point and thought I'd have to do it my own way. 

In January I went to fill my diabetes medication prescription and I ran into an issue at the pharmacy because of some changes in my prescription plan.  In looking for the contact information for my benefits coordinator I came across a single line in a mass email all employees received which indicated that because a company we had recently acquired had previous coverage for bariatric surgery and they had people who still had it in process they would extend coverage for bariatric surgery to all employees from January 1st to March 31st.  This was my last chance to get it done.

I called Jenni right away and forwarded the email to her and got started with all of my unfinished requirements.  I needed to see the nutritionist and I needed to get blood work completed.  I did that and I waited.  My 90 days were ticking away.  On February 4th the city of San Antonio saw it's first accumulation of snow 25 years.  That was the day United Health Care decided to call Dr. Patel to discuss my case.  The storm, though light was the equivalent to a natural disaster because we were completely unprepared for snow.  Nothing was open that day.  The doctor was on leave and it wasn't until March 3rd, my Mom's birthday, that United Health Care finally approved my surgery and it was scheduled for March 21st to allow me time to do the pre-operative diet.

There were so many "last meals" I wanted to have, but Dr. Patel said if I didn't lose 25 pounds by my surgery date, it could delay or cancel my surgery completely.  My check in weight with Dr. Patel was 356 pounds and I needed to get down to 331.  I lost 8 pounds quickly and another 14 after that, but then I slipped while Victoria was in Phoenix tending to a family funeral and I put 2 pounds back on.  What I thought would be a routine weigh in became a visit to the principal's office.  I weighted in at 336 pounds and I needed to lose 4 pounds in four days to make my weight.  I decided good things I had eaten in previous weeks would be my "last meals".  I had barbacoa for breakfast one morning, I counted that as my "last breakfast.  I went out for a delicacy known as Cochinita Pibil and that was my last lunch.  We went to our favorite steak place for a final t-bone special with the most beautiful and fluffy baked potato ever for my last dinner. 

I went into the night of my surgical preparation praying what I had done was enough.  The prep was not pleasant.  All you can have is clear liquids in and essentially clear liquids out.  With my surgery scheduled for 2pm on Monday the 21st, that was quite a while to be on only liquids with no real sustenance. 

Everyone asked if I was nervous about my surgery.  Surgery was piece of cake.  I didn't have to do anything.  I went in, I took a nap, the doctor did all the work and I got narcotics afterward.  Much to my disappointment I was never weighed the day of surgery.  I weighed myself and weighed in on the hospital's balance scale at 324 pounds.  I was very pleased.  My concern was the recovery. 

I knew the drill, liquids for three weeks, soft foods for three weeks after than and introducing new solids slowly there after.  I woke up from surgery to a pretty blonde nurse wearing a very strong floral perfume that acted as smelling salts telling me that I was done and that I'd be going to my room.  My throat was like sun bleached cotton, dry and wooly.  I begged for water, but she said no liquids until I passed testing the next day.  The effects of the anesthesia and the pain medications made that first day mostly a blur.  They woke me nearly every hour to draw blood or to check my vitals.  I got out of bed at 1:30am the following morning and went for a walk.  I hurt, but not enough to keep me immobile.  I felt  like I had done way too many sit ups and had too much to eat at the same time.  They really need to come up with a way to get rid of the gas they fill you with when they do the surgery.  It was after that walk that I urinated for the first time.  Everything was still pretty numb, but there was blood on the urinal and I knew that wasn't good.  When I noticed more blood dripping on the floor I called for my nurse and she opened my gown to find that one of my drains was leaking.  She taped it up and said it would be coming out soon anyway.  Anytime that drain was emptied it hurt badly whether I was on pain meds or not.  My IV lines became irritated and when my nurse for the day showed no interest in giving me any relief, I pulled them out on my own and disposed of them carefully.  I figured if they needed to put something in they could start a new line.  A much nicer nurse removed my staples and applied the Dermabond.  She also removed my drains.  I'm not sure what a JP drain is, but the tube it is attached to is long and seemed to be attached to my liver.  It took two pulls to get it out and it hurt like hell.

When they started me on fluids I was told it would take me about 10 minutes to finish an ounce of Crystal Light.  I thought the nurse was exaggerating.  She wasn't.  I had to carefully sip everything and every bit of fluid made me feel like I had just finished a four course meal.  I am expected to intake 64 ounces of fluid a day.  At this point I don't see how that is possible.